You Gotta Have a Gimmick.
[ELECTRA]: If you wanna make it, Twinkle while you shake it.
[TESSIE TURA]: If you wanna grind it, Wait till you've refined it.
[MAZEPPA]: If you wanna stump it, Bump it with a trumpet!
[ALL]: So get yourself a gimmick and you, too, Can be a star!
From You Gotta Have a Gimmick from the musical Gypsy
For those naysayers claiming America is in decline, I say “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet”.